Sources
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/199809/sounds-true-me
https://drhurd.com/2014/12/02/50104/
https://www.simplypsychology.org/compliance.html
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Door-in-the-face_technique
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brain-wise/201310/the-power-the-word-because-get-people-do-stuff
Langer, E., Blank, A., & Chanowitz, B. (1978). The mindlessness of Ostensibly Thoughtful Action: The Role of “Placebic” Information in Interpersonal Interaction. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 36(6), 635-642.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/do-something-different/201304/what-your-clothes-might-be-saying-about-you
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Decision_fatigue
https://drhurd.com/2014/12/02/50104/
https://www.simplypsychology.org/compliance.html
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Door-in-the-face_technique
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brain-wise/201310/the-power-the-word-because-get-people-do-stuff
Langer, E., Blank, A., & Chanowitz, B. (1978). The mindlessness of Ostensibly Thoughtful Action: The Role of “Placebic” Information in Interpersonal Interaction. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 36(6), 635-642.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/do-something-different/201304/what-your-clothes-might-be-saying-about-you
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Decision_fatigue
Script
Hey, pay attention to what I’m saying, not what I’m wearing. You can’t help it? Well you’re not alone.-- Let’s see if this changes things?
Today on Sai-cology we will talk about making people listen to you better, and continue last week’s discussion on negotiation and persuasion.
SAICOLOGY
Eyes up Here
When you are listening to someone you have central cues-- or the message they are trying to tell you, and peripheral cues, which is everything else. When we are tired, distracted, or the message is difficult to evaluate, we fall to peripheral cues like clothing, visuals, voice tone, or other factors.
If you look nice, people are more intimidated, assuming you have something to say, or that you are someone important. The thing is-- this subconsciously improves their feelings about you all around, not just that you look nice. Thanks to the Halo Effect when people see that you look nice they will be more likely to say things like you look confident, smart or organized.
Rap It Up
Using Rhymes (Rhyming) help us process what is being said, and ring more true to us than non rhymes. So, if you want people to believe something, turn it into a rhyme. The only thing to watch for is that if the listeners don’t trust or are suspicious of the rhymer, it will seem more deceitful.
Repetition is also helpful if stated in different ways, and especially if the audience repeats the point back to you.
Using mnemonic devices like iHOB (lol) (Not Spon) can also help things stick in people's memories and thoughts.
Get them Gains
When we do things, we have primary and secondary gains-- which are usually unconscious. If you figure out what that secondary motivation is, it can help you better understand yourself and others.
Feet, Doors, Faces
Two more ways to get someone to agree with you are as follows. First The Foot in the Door Technique where you get someone to say yes to something small and through the continual pattern of saying yes, can lead to them saying yes to something larger. So let’s say you want a $100 dress. First, ask for something smaller like shoes, or a necklace, then gradually increase the prices until you get to $100. This is because we like to consistency, and once we say yes once we are primed to keep agreeing and being helpful. The other technique is the Door in the Face Technique where you ask for something larger than you want, so that your request will seem reasonable in comparison. So find a $500 dress and ask for it-- when they say no, say that you’ll settle for a $100 dress instead-- and they’ll be more likely to say yes that if you just start with the $100.
Because
If you need people to do something for you, saying “because” no matter what follows increases the rate of acceptance. In an experiment by Ellen Langer in 1978, people requested to cut in line. There were 3 different phrases used.
Stress? Eat!
Here’s some fast tips about compliance. If people are stressed, they seek reward from anywhere-- so if you can provide that, you will gain extra favor points. If people have just eaten, they also are more likely to comply with demands. Also, if people are angry or confused, they can’t think logically.
Tire them Out
Choice Exhaustion
If we’re forced to make decisions, for a long time, the quality of our decisions get worse and worse because we get tired. This is where the famous practice of wearing the same outfits everyday like Steve Jobs comes from -- less to decide. This is also where impulse purchasing happens because we are so tired of shopping, by the end, where all the tempting snacks and sweets are, we can’t resist and don’ have the mental power to decide that it’s unnecessary.
Today, we talked about our cognitive biases and how we can use that to get others to listen and be persuaded. If you wanna see more, check out the past episodes in the cards. Make sure you like, subscribe and hit that bell and comment down below any questions, comments or experiences you have. Thanks for watching and remember, to behave yourself.
Today on Sai-cology we will talk about making people listen to you better, and continue last week’s discussion on negotiation and persuasion.
SAICOLOGY
Eyes up Here
When you are listening to someone you have central cues-- or the message they are trying to tell you, and peripheral cues, which is everything else. When we are tired, distracted, or the message is difficult to evaluate, we fall to peripheral cues like clothing, visuals, voice tone, or other factors.
If you look nice, people are more intimidated, assuming you have something to say, or that you are someone important. The thing is-- this subconsciously improves their feelings about you all around, not just that you look nice. Thanks to the Halo Effect when people see that you look nice they will be more likely to say things like you look confident, smart or organized.
Rap It Up
Using Rhymes (Rhyming) help us process what is being said, and ring more true to us than non rhymes. So, if you want people to believe something, turn it into a rhyme. The only thing to watch for is that if the listeners don’t trust or are suspicious of the rhymer, it will seem more deceitful.
Repetition is also helpful if stated in different ways, and especially if the audience repeats the point back to you.
Using mnemonic devices like iHOB (lol) (Not Spon) can also help things stick in people's memories and thoughts.
Get them Gains
When we do things, we have primary and secondary gains-- which are usually unconscious. If you figure out what that secondary motivation is, it can help you better understand yourself and others.
Feet, Doors, Faces
Two more ways to get someone to agree with you are as follows. First The Foot in the Door Technique where you get someone to say yes to something small and through the continual pattern of saying yes, can lead to them saying yes to something larger. So let’s say you want a $100 dress. First, ask for something smaller like shoes, or a necklace, then gradually increase the prices until you get to $100. This is because we like to consistency, and once we say yes once we are primed to keep agreeing and being helpful. The other technique is the Door in the Face Technique where you ask for something larger than you want, so that your request will seem reasonable in comparison. So find a $500 dress and ask for it-- when they say no, say that you’ll settle for a $100 dress instead-- and they’ll be more likely to say yes that if you just start with the $100.
Because
If you need people to do something for you, saying “because” no matter what follows increases the rate of acceptance. In an experiment by Ellen Langer in 1978, people requested to cut in line. There were 3 different phrases used.
- “Excuse me, I have 5 pages, may I use the xerox machine.”
- “Excuse me, I have 5 pages, may I use the xerox machine, because I have to make copies”
- “Excuse me, I have 5 pages, may I use the xerox machine because I’m in a rush?”
Stress? Eat!
Here’s some fast tips about compliance. If people are stressed, they seek reward from anywhere-- so if you can provide that, you will gain extra favor points. If people have just eaten, they also are more likely to comply with demands. Also, if people are angry or confused, they can’t think logically.
Tire them Out
Choice Exhaustion
If we’re forced to make decisions, for a long time, the quality of our decisions get worse and worse because we get tired. This is where the famous practice of wearing the same outfits everyday like Steve Jobs comes from -- less to decide. This is also where impulse purchasing happens because we are so tired of shopping, by the end, where all the tempting snacks and sweets are, we can’t resist and don’ have the mental power to decide that it’s unnecessary.
Today, we talked about our cognitive biases and how we can use that to get others to listen and be persuaded. If you wanna see more, check out the past episodes in the cards. Make sure you like, subscribe and hit that bell and comment down below any questions, comments or experiences you have. Thanks for watching and remember, to behave yourself.